Werq, Werq, Werq…

Okay, so I’ve been neglecting my websites and blog for a while. Sorry for that, but I was working a full-time job M-F 8-5, which unfortunately didn’t pan out.  I debated for a while whether or not I made the right decision in accepting it, and as it turns out, I was wrong. Basically I just got sick & tired of being so damn broke all the time, and I let those feelings get the better of me.  Capital Metro proved to be as unreliable or annoying as possible still, taking hours to get anywhere…  even as much as almost 2 hours to get home from work on days when I ride the bus.

The job….

I was working as an IT temp for a company called MegaPath. They provide managed IP, communications, VPN and network security services for businesses (think Papa John’s and Subway.)  As for my feelings about it… Well, I liked it, even if it was a little slow at times. I had a lot of trouble remembering to make entries in our “work blog” as required, and STS requiring me to be ready at 6:50AM and taking forever to get me home really started to try my patience as well as affect my overall health and mental well-being.

I really don’t feel all that special, but the boss seemed thrilled to have me. As he put it, he was glad to finally have someone working for him with the range of experience to be technically qualified, who knew the proper etiquette for dealing with people in what is basically a call center. I learned some stuff here & there, but I never quite got into the groove of working a 8-5 job again.

So, what’s new with me? Other than the short-term job, not too much.  My application for disability due to my general craziness seems to have started moving forward.  We’ll see how that all pans out soon enough.

In the short term, I’m on the look out for jobs I can do from home and/or maybe a part-time job that won’t push me as much into a breakdown again as a full time one would.  I’ll keep you posted.


Quote of the Day
“Most true happiness comes from one’s inner life, from the disposition of the mind and soul. Admittedly, a good inner life is hard to achieve, especially in these trying times. It takes reflection and contemplation and self-discipline.”
W. L. Shirer

I do agree with one assertion that he left out “And not listening to the daily news.” but I have no idea when this quote was written, so the daily news may not have been such prophets of doom & gloom at that time. That aside, it’s a pretty fair quote to live by. Far too many believe that their happiness rests in others…. If you can’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? (Well, other than your mother…)

Okay so I’m back. I haven’t really been gone, just unmotivated towards doing any blogging. That and pretty much everything else lately. It’s odd though because I haven’t felt depressed… just haven’t been able to make myself get excited about working except in short spurts.

I’ve also been working on finding a part-time job. I’ve actually got a short well-paying gig tomorrow, but that doesn’t help me when it comes to my financial discord as I’m not getting a W2 from it, just a 1099. Which isn’t really good to be getting nothing but, as i discovered when doing my taxes this year. Even though the vultures at the IRS are leaving me alone, the ones at Social Security want money whether I paid taxes or not. This is otherwise known as the “Self Employment Tax” which is a major pain in the ass as it gets added in after your tax figure is computed and my Earned Income Credit only cancels out half of it. You just can’t win.

Speaking of taxes…. I heard the Postal Service is raising their rates another penny again in May. This usually isn’t so bad except the non-first class items’ rates (Priority Mail, Box Rents, Parcel Post, Express Mail, etc.) go up exponentially to outrageously overpriced numbers. Considering that the majority of postal workers, and dare i say it, federal employees are overpaid and underworked. Sure the letter carriers do some serious work, but anyone that’s watched the glacial progression of a line at the post office can see that so few of the other employees take any pleasure in their jobs, nor are they very motivated to do any portion of their jobs with anything resembling haste. Well, except for during the end of the year when they’re so overwhelmed they actually feel pressured to get the job done… and do it half-assed a great portion of the time. This lack of enthusiasm would hardly be treated with any sort of respect in the private sector… but they have America by the short & curlies and know it. I think it may be time to outsource the postal system to the private sector or just privatize the whole thing. Things were honestly better when the government was actually subsidizing the post. I’d never advocate that they become a cabinet department again, but this hybrid federally owned corporation is a joke as long as congress sees fit to pick on them.

Anyway… I guess that’s enough ranting for now. Hopefully I’ll blog more. My therapist likes the idea of keeping a journal anyway.


Another Year Gone

Well, another year is gone. Happy New Year, y’all.

I rarely bother to get excited about the new year, but 2007 was just plain lousy, so good riddance. I went to bed early last night… Hours before midnight because I just didn’t feel up to the whole getting excited thing as I was staying home where it’s warm instead of exposing myself to all those people and bleh, germs… nasty flu & colds going around lately.

I guess this year I’m going to do something totally unlike me and reflect on the past year before my birthday and try to set some goals for the coming one… I’ll try to remember to keep everyone posted on that one. I’ll probably figure them out around the ides of March if I keep to my usual pace. πŸ˜‰

Unfortunately the new year also means that the presidential election cycle is flying off full steam ahead. The majority of us should be so completely sick of the whole thing by November that hopefully it will be enough to keep both of those jackasses (Hillary and Obama) out of the white house, although I will say that if Huckabee wins the Republican nod, and Hillary the Democrat nod… I have no problem voting for her over him. Obama or him, I either don’t vote in that race at all or I vote for the Libertarian candidate.

Anyway…. Keep watching… and write some damn comments already, so I know if my complete and utter madness is being read. πŸ™‚


Something for Everyone

Amazing, along with the customary Spam you receive this time of year regarding letters from Santa, get a bigger dick, horny teen sluts, Viagra, Levitra, Cialis, Canadian Pharmacies, dating, interracial dating, satisfying my partner, stock tips, Etc….. The most interesting ones I’ve been receiving lately have been fuck buddies!  how’s that for going full circle?

Oh, and for weird news…. My mother sends me a Christmas e-card that has a guy telling his wife that  the surprise isn’t that he’s bought her sexy lingerie for Christmas, it’s that he has it on underneath his clothing….   Oh what a lovely weird family I have…  but then again… I wouldn’t have them any other way.  Love ya mommy.

My Shrink has me on a new med regimen, Invega, TopaMAX,  & Cymbalta …. It seems to be doing the trick.   Thankfully they seem to agree that the minuscule dose of Xanax I’m on is perfectly fine considering the fact that if I’m not on it then I have to smoke like a chimney, and then the whole trip down the Chantix (it REALLY works.  Try it!) route was completely wasted to make me quit smoking.    Next step… get them to agree to a real sleep aid for when I just can’t sleep and I can be a functioning member of society again.

Speaking of which… I have an interview on Tuesday morning at 11AM…. I’ll let y’all know how that goes.   Hopefully well.   Maybe I can get them to make it a part-time thing for starters so it doesn’t fuck me up too badly with my current benefits and such then slowly work up to full time since the pay level will be higher than i should be allowed… but it will allow me to get my income tax return back.    More to come… Keep in touch… Oh, and if someone’s looking for Christmas gifts for me… Check out my amazon.com wish list on here…. I’d love to get some of the stuff on here.  especially that bluetooth headset, the harry potter book, the filters for the faucet, and an amazon.com kindle.   πŸ™‚


Gossip Gone Wild

I was reading Stranger in a Strange Land quotes the other day and came across this one…. it really hits home even more so now than it did then:

“Remind me to write a popular article on the compulsive reading of news. The theme will be that most neuroses and some psychoses can be traced to the unnecessary and unhealthy habit of daily wallowing in the troubles and sins of five billion strangers. The title is ‘Gossip Unlimited’ — no, make that ‘Gossip Gone Wild.'” — Jubal Harshaw (Robert Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land, 1961)

The sad thing is that he warned us about this progression towards such idiocy way back in 1961 and it’s just progressively gotten worse and worse… this country and well, this world, is obsessed with “The News” to the point that it’s truly becoming an unhealthy obsession. Far worse than even the worst addiction.

And what’s scary is that until it is recognized as a truly detrimental addiction there will be no real treatment for it. Of course the terrorists, insurrectionists, etc. all take this addiction to heart whenever they carry on the way they do…. They know that we’ve become a world full of whiny bitches who who are addicted to the news and can’t stomach doing what needs to be done for the sake of humanity anymore.

I truly am saddened and sobered by the thought that when the WWII/Depression generation passes on forever so will the last generation that had the balls to make a difference in the world for the sake of posterity… for the foreseeable future. Perhaps someday Mr. Heinlein’s wise advice through his books will be heeded… but it will take a disaster on the scale of those described in his books to make it happen. I guess we’ll wait and see.